I am no older than you are and I’m younger than some of you but as a person who her friends come to in times of trouble or frustration, I think I know enough to say the things I’m about to say.
As feminist as it may sound, you don’t need a man to be happy. You don’t need another person to validate your existence – your happiness and everything you are or will become depends on you and you alone. You have to learn how to stand up for yourself. You’re not a damsel that always needs saving. You have got to save yourself. Be strong enough to sustain your well-being. Be comfortable in being by yourself as this would allow you to know yourself better and in turn, you’ll be more in tune with who you really are. It’s a step towards independence and stability.
Justin Bieber said you have to love yourself. And you should. It’s a must, it’s imperative that you do. Love yourself before allowing another person to love you so you both can save yourselves from heartbreak, chaos, or whatever you call that. It’s a wonderful feeling knowing that no matter how much another person pulls you down, you know you’ll be standing still because you know all the good and bad about yourself and you’ve learned to embrace them both. Celebrate your strengths and turn your weaknesses into something that would someday be of use to you. Always allow yourself to be loved by you – it’s not narcissistic, it’s only you being kind to yourself.
Stop being so hard on yourself for the things that went wrong. You don’t deserve to be miserable because a plan didn’t push through or you never had that second date you were so looking forward to. It’s normal and you shouldn’t stress yourself about it. Let things be.
You should also stop being so hard on everyone. You are not entitled to anything but respect and loyalty like everyone else. When you meet a guy and he is not #goals, stop making him and yourself miserable. Stop comparing yourself to what people has established as the norm because there aren’t any. Give the guy a chance and give yourself a chance too. Stop expecting to be showered with gifts and surprises because let’s face it, no one is made of money and the tangible things that a guy can give you should not be the basis of how good of a guy he can be. Allow him (and other people you hold dear) to love you the way he knows best.
Lastly, let go of the things, situations, and people that and who have hurt you. Things happen for a reason and you got hurt because you have to wake up to the realization that it’s/they’re just not meant for you. Sure it will be difficult but allow yourself to heal. Stop wallowing in self pity and stop destroying yourself just because things got bad worded up. You go cry and drink for a while but you have got to stand up and dust yourself off. Do not let anyone destroy who you are.
It’s all really just simple if you think about it. Love yourself, be strong, be independent, forgive others as well as yourself – it’s coming to the realization that what you have to do may be difficult but you have to make it through because there’s no other way.