January was so good to me but February proved to be very challenging. It’s only the second month of this year but it has already tested how much I could bear. I didn’t see it coming, it came unto me like an avalanche wreaking havoc along the way. But I haven’t always been one to easily give up — I like to believe that I’m a strong person who can pretty much handle everything that’s being handed to her. So here I am, trying to still make the best out of everything.
I just got out of a three year relationship. It was such a shock for us and our closest friends and my family that none of them actually believed me when I told them that Tim and I are already broken up. If it were up to me, I would still keep on going — working things out between us as we go — but relationships are not a one man show. I can’t do it alone especially when the other half of the relationship already wants to stop. I always thought we’d end up together because of how good we just fit with each other but things always don’t go as we expect it, right? I’m not gonna lie, the break up hurt like bad wording hell (and it still does) because we’ve went through so much — he’s in every college memory that I had, we graduated together, we survived hell weeks and months together, and so much more. He gave me so much to remember that it’s going to be difficult to forget. But like I said, I’ve always believed that I’m a strong person so I’m not going to let the break up bring me down. And although it still hurts, it allowed me to realize some things for myself which I am thankful for this month.
I realized just how strong I could be. I know some people would shut down after a break up but I guess I was programmed to always keep standing up. Of course I cried (for three consecutive nights, and it was e x h a u s t i n g) but when morning comes, I still get out of my bed, eat properly (still on a diet, omg), and exercise every night. And it takes a lot of courage to do that when all you want to do is to just curl up in a ball and forget.
I now have a lot more time for myself. I’m able to catch up on my TV series list (Black Mirror S02E03 got me so #shookt!!! And I also finished watching Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo and omg I cannot get over how adorable they are!!!) and read a lot more books. I missed just sitting in a corner and letting myself get lost in another world.
I’m thankful for the gift of family and friends. My heart is so warmed by the gesture of my friends reaching out to me and making sure I was okay. My bestfriend even took me out for a Jollibee date during Valentine’s! Two of my closest college friends met up with me for dinner just to see how I was doing (and one of them came all the way from QC to Rizal), and my closest girl friends in college asked me out for dinner (I had an injury so I weren’t able to go though). And some of my college friends invited me to go to Anawangin to unwind, and the others to Batangas. And of course, I have my sister and brother who just laughed at my seemingly no-bullshit approach regarding the break up. Lol. I’m so thankful to have people like them who made me feel so loved during such a trying time. It made me feel less alone and I will forever be grateful.
I’m already done with all my med school interviews and exam. Results for the two (I applied to three) should be out starting March and I’m hoping I would get into my dream school (or even to just get waitlisted is enough for me!!), but even if I don’t, I would still be extremely grateful if I get in the other two schools that I applied for (especially since I went in for one interview still half drunk. It’s irresponsible of me, I know and I’m not proud of it but I had so much fun the night before that I didn’t realize I had already drank way too much). All three are good institutions so I don’t really have a problem with attending either of those anyway.
I got accepted into FEU-NRMF! I was so surprised that the results were already out by February 16 (I got interviewed on the 5th). My hands were so clammy as I was waiting for the screen to load and you cannot believe how loud I shrieked when I saw my name on the list!! I’m still waiting for two more schools (like I said above) BUT I’M OFFICIALLY GOING TO MED SCHOOL THIS YEAR. IT FEELS SOOOOO GOOD!!!
We’re getting a new puppy! We let Chewy be a stud for my mom’s friend’s shih tzu and she gave birth to three cute babies last January. So, as a customary gift, we get one! His name’s going to be Piper but if it were up to me, I’d name him Obi-wan. 😛 Can’t wait for the tiny doggo to be home!
I had a lot of good things that went my way this month, probably the universe’s way of making it up for me? I still don’t feel like my old self but I’m trying really hard. It’s such a shame to not stand back up when I have so much ahead of me. It’s only a break up, right? It’s not the end of the world. I’m going to be okay, I have to be. 🙂 How was your month? 😀