I went in for a job interview yesterday and I’ve never been so disappointed in my whole life. I was casually looking through JobStreet to look for a job to keep me preoccupied until med school starts. I just kept submitting my resumes to different companies near home because I didn’t want to get stressed out with the commute, nevermind that the pay might not be up to par as to how much a fresh graduate should be paid — I just wanted to do something to keep me away from boredom. As a psychology graduate, we were taught in our industrial psychology class that of course, everything in our resume must be true and that includes our picture. Of course I had mine taken at a studio and I told them not to remove my birthmark (but just take out the pimple that decided to show up that day 😀 ), and that is the picture I pasted on ALL of my resumes and on all my legal papers.
Two years ago, I had my life planned out. I was going to graduate from college and head straight to med school and be the greatest neurosurgeon there ever was. Of course the last part was an exaggeration but everything else was pretty much as it is. I was a junior in college and I thought I had everything figured out because of course, I thought it was that easy. I knew what I wanted and where I’m supposed to go — I was oblivious to the fact that I wasn’t prepared to go there nor did I know how to get there. I had big dreams but I was clueless.
Yesterday, November 25, marked the end of my self-imposed 60-day shopping ban and I am very proud to say that I did it! Not an easy feat but something I am very proud of. It feels so good to be able to start something and actually finish it. Especially because I’m a procrastinator and I get frustrated easily. I had some ups and downs throughout almost two months of restricting myself to buy things I do not need. I feel so accomplished! I broke my promise once though, here’s why and how. (RELATED: AduIting 101: 60-day Shopping Ban)
Over the years, ever since I found out about fitness and abs, I’ve been telling myself that I was fat. Fast forward to now at 110 lbs, I realized I wasn’t. Hell, I was 90 lbs then. We measured our BMI when we were sophomores in highschool and heck, I was one pound away from being underweight. I got dengue when I was a junior in highschool and it improved my appetite and I was eating well. From 90 lbs, my weight picked up and by the time I was in second year college I was 100 lbs. Over the course of three years I’ve been trying to work out thinking I was fat. Now I know that I wasn’t, my body just isn’t toned. But I never really followed through with it maybe because deep down I know that I’m not as big as I thought I was.
I wish I can take back how much of myself I shared to other people. I have secrets that I shared with people I hold dear that I wish I didn’t tell. I have experiences that I wish I didn’t share with any of you. It’s one thing to judge me for doing something stupid but it’s another to rub it in my face and invite other people to do the same. I know now why my boyfriend shares his secrets only with me. He said that before me, everything was just pent up inside him — secrets and frustrations included. I didn’t want to believe him at first because you gotta tell someone, right? I couldn’t quite believe that he doesn’t tell his friends some of his secrets, not even one. Now I understand why.
It’s been such a long time since I typed up a blog post! It has been over three weeks since I was last able to update this blog. The hiatus I took wasn’t intentional though. It was only supposed to be for three days because my NMAT was nearing and I couldn’t be bothered to type up new content (I had too much formulas and terms to remember). And when I was through with my exam, my laptop charger decided to give up on me! You’d think that I could just go out and buy a new one the next day but I am such a lazy person that I kept putting it off. Another reason was that I was too shy to demand from my parents to buy a new one right then and there because I don’t really have anything urgent to do that needs me to use my laptop. So I just told my dad that my charger was broken and he said he’d get a replacement, and it wasn’t until just this Saturday that he was able to buy me one as he was too busy with work. Thanks daddy!
I am not the best at handling my finances wisely. I admittedly am an impulsive buyer and I’ve tried, over and over, to put a stop to it. Now, 7 out of 10 times, I can successfully walk out of a store empty handed. I aim to make it 10 out of 10 except when necessary. At this age, I know I should at least be able to manage my finances well. And I know that I should since I still basically live off of my parents. I actually feel bad about still mooching off of them but I’ll make it worth their while some years after. All I can do now is to stop spending too much and save some from the allowance they give me (I am such a freeloader, ugh).